CIA f*ckfest? It’s Like Music To My Parenting Ears

A couple of just-on-the-cusp cougars have unleashed havoc on the United States of America by becoming intimately involved with two top CIA officials.  It’s situations like these that not only put all cougars to shame (ah ladies, did you even think to ask these guys how old they were?), but it’s also one that can force us into having conversations with our kids that we’d rather avoid.

When, after hearing a news clip, my daughter asks me what a biographer is, how do I answer her without addressing all the sex and loose morals typically associated with the profession?  Do I teach her about the real world of biographers, or do I gloss the more adult parts over and hope to satisfy her with something lame like: “Oh honey, they just write books.”

I’d been researching on-line how to approach questions like this when I quite accidentally stumbled on something remarkable.  Apparently, the main players in this event, David Petraeus, Paula Broadwell, John Allen and Jill Kelley, have already done the appropriate American thing and begun to capitalize on their scandal (shout out to O.J.).

This is no ABBA, but what they cleverly figured out is that they have marketable initials:  PBAJ.  In a stroke of brilliance they’ve already produced an album for children that will gently introduce them to sensitive topics around relationships, ethics and ways to love.

  1. Petreus, the Notty Dinosaur
  2. Where Did My Wedding Ring Go-o-o
  3. When Wee Willy Winky Plays With His Dinky
  4. C-I-A Not S-T-D
  5. There’s A Hole In The Bottom of My Biographer
  6. My Wife Lies Over The Ocean
  7. There’s No “we” In Responsi-bil-i-ty
  8. On Top Of Paula, All Covered With Cheese
  9. Shoo Ethics, Don’t Bother Me

Bonus Christmas Track:  Stringing Up Holly (A cappella by Dave and Paula)

I really appreciate the effort these fine folk have put toward sharing their expertise.  Kudos to them all for turning their experience into a teachable moment for our benefit.  Christmas shopping just got a whole lot easier.


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