26 Is The New 40

What’s happening to Lindsay Lohan?

I’ve heard the stories that she’s a train wreck.  I’m sure she does have a good deal of personal issues, and that has got to suck.  After all, she’s another Hollywood childhood star who got too much too fast, and has what sound like dysfunctional parents who have a longstanding history of being unable to cope with each other, let alone their their rising star daughter.

But really.  What is happening to her?  I look at her now and I see a young woman in her mid twenties that is either tragically unaware of what she is physically doing to her face, or she’s lucid and willingly transforming herself at warp speed, and in such a manner, as to gain early entry into the Cougar Den.

Now, I know the cougar years are alluring.  For example, we’ve figured out our favourite wines and have solidly established what side of the bed we sleep on.  It’s also hard to beat chronic dry, cracked heels and two weeks of PMS.  These are things that really give a woman character.  But someone ought to tell Ms. Lohan that these milestones cannot be injected into her ever growing lips and breasts.

Granted, she can walk the walk.  I mean just look at that dress.  Slap some leopard print on that and snap!  100% cougar.

Yet, my bet is that she can’t talk the talk.  Can she relate to weeks of PMS?  Does she even get a period?  I’m wondering if the volume of cotton she has had stuffed into her cheeks actually absorbs all her bodily fluids.  Maybe that explains why she might decide to step out commando.  No chance of embarrassing vaginal discharge left on bar stools.  Hmm.  Just when I thought I didn’t have any reason to envy her.  Go figure.

Still, It’s hard for this Denmother to watch Lindsay fall.  My kids and I have enjoyed her in her early films.  A cute kid with a lot of promise.  Now she just looks like a kind of hot 40 something, possibly with soft, smooth heels, but without the right kind of character.

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14 thoughts on “26 Is The New 40

    • I feel badly for her. She seems to be stuck making one bad decision after another. I wonder if anyone’s trying to help her or if she just keeps getting bad advice.

  1. Wow. Just, like… WOW.

    I haven’t seen Lindsay like this. You’d think these pictures would have been all over the place in the media, but I haven’t seen them (in Australia at least). You’ve enlightened me. (and frightened me)

    • It is frightening. For her to think she needs to enhance anything at her tender age and with her looks is a sad statement about our culture of youth worship. Even sadder is that in her case, all the plastic surgery is having the opposite effect.

  2. Hey, Coug. You and I see eye-to-eye on the Lohan thing. I’ve made similar points about her, too. I do believe “hot mess” is the trendy way to describe her particular type of train wreck, but I would add the word “formerly” in regards to the word “hot.”

    I find it hard to feel bad for jerks, even if circumstances are responsible for what they are. At some point they have to rise above it. If not, I lose interest in caring about their fate.

    In Lohan’s case I fear it is already too late. In a decade or two she’ll be featured on Celebrity Rehab and we’ll all marvel at the totality of destruction.

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