You know who you are. At some point, something (likely one of our wickedly hilarious and relatable posts filled with the perfect pictures to accompany the text) inspired you to go to the top of the blog page and hit +Follow.
Or maybe one of us followed you first and you thought, “what the hell. I’m feeling generous/reckless/lucky/spontaneous/lazy/hopeful today.” You wrestled with the good sense of your decision for a split second and then blindly hit “+Follow.” We’ll take it, and thank you.
Here’s why we write to you today.
Although appearing as static, perfectly content avatars moving through the blog world predictably calm and unfettered, we are indeed human. Denmother and Helen celebrate visits to our blog. So what if Brad Pitt’s penis is pulling most visitors in – he’s HUGE, check it out, and welcome.
We revel in “likes” and adore comments. You don’t see it, but when people respond to our stuff, Denmother flushes and undoes two or three buttons on her high avatar collar.
Helen gives her avatar partner on the dock a high five.
We feel like we’ve connected with some of you out there. It inspires us to keep at it in the hope that one day, due to overwhelming response, Denmother will be sufficiently stimulated to the point where she will be forced to strip down to her corset and loosen it just the tiniest bit.
Helen, without a thought for her modesty, will strip right down and jump buck naked into that ever-beckoning lake, suggesting unabashedly to her stoic avatar companion that he come and frolic with her.
Fine followers, here’s the thing. There are 71 of you. The most likes we’ve ever gotten on one labour of love is 28, and that was on a post about
breasts boobs. Just saying. That leaves 43 of you unaccounted for. And, at the end of the day, on most posts we’re missing 50 or more or you.
We get it. Heybeergut!! Essays From The Cougar Den is a relatively new kid on the block. Not yet a mainstay in your real-life, relationship destroying blogging habits.
However once, just once, we’d like to reach all of you. Bring you all in. Together. As one. Even if it remains a onetime little blip on an otherwise quiet, but super awesome sleeper blog. We’d like to be lifted up not simply by you, but with you, as one is lifted on Valentine’s Day with forced, store-bought genuine expressions of love.
We have decided to declare February 14th as the day on which we will stage a “LIKE-IN” on a special St. Valentine’s Day post.
We will ignore our real-life relationship
bullshit issues and revel in free-wheeling, blogger love. Any way you wish to justify liking us, we will embrace it. No questions, and no judgement. We’ll not only like, but love you back.
Yes, it will be the One Love Valentine’s Day Blog Post Throw-down. Throw a “like” our way on February 14th.
Show us that you’re out there watching, waiting and worrying that you’ll never have good reason to visit our blog again. But you will visit again. Denmother and Helen have been described – by each other – as the crack of the blogging world.
Come in for the group hug.
Stay for the
intercourse discourse that results from community union.
Our renewed passion, fed from your demonstration of pure, unsolicited adoration will earn you some healthy loving in return…. Turn on, tune in, and drop by on the 14th. Bring your friends. Non-followers eagerly encouraged to share in the vibe. If you have yet to experience Cougar Love or you’re just coming back for more, this is where the magic happens.