Friday Fictioneers – March 8/13

Friday Fictioneers is sponsored by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  The idea is to write a 100 word story with a beginning, middle and end based on the photo prompt.

Featured Image

Karma

(101 words)

Goddammit.  Nobody had said nothin’ about stairs.  How was she gonna manage them with her breathing and all?  That hadn’t cleared up neither.

What was that crap they’d fed her about ailments completely disappearing and being free of your broken body?  That little shit of a daughter likely had something to do with this setup.  She should have locked her in the closet for a longer spell after each whoopin’.

Lifting a naked foot onto the first stair, she broke into a coughing fit.  Christ, it was gonna take 100 years to reach the light.  She’d be dead all over again.

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46 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – March 8/13

  1. I can’t stop laughing to figure out what ima gonna say! You got it going on. Very good. I noticed the Christ at the end with the light. Somehow, I see my friend spitting these words out mighty slick like. Of course this is not taking the topic seriously. Thanks.

  2. Heh heh. Very nice. And, of course, she never once thinks, “Hmmm, could be I didn’t go where I expected to go.” Very much in character. And that it’s very much in character in so few words says a great deal about how well crafted the piece is. Lovely use of dialect, too.

  3. haha, fantastic voice in this one. If you’re looking for a way, you could cut that extra word by saying “it would take 100 years” rather than “It was gonna”, but it works well as it stands.

    • Thanks, Elmo. I had it down to a hundred and added the word “longer” in with the closet sentence after posting. I didn’t take the time to balance by editing a word out. Thanks for the suggestion.
      Denmother

  4. Like Elmo, I looked for an extra word to cut when I saw 101 but then stopped myself and enjoyed the story! I think your protagonist deserves her fate by the sounds of it! great tale 🙂

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