Are We Just The Sum Of Our Parts?

I don’t have cable and haven’t had it for years.  Every time I go to the gym I’m reminded why.  Here’s what I see on the 8 TV’s put up for our viewing pleasure.  Picture it if you can: tits and ass.  Yep.  Scantily clad women, dethroned only by the next scantily clad woman.

Where are all these women in every day life that wear outfits such as short, short, shorty shorts and halter tops?  I don’t see them but I don’t know how I could miss them since every other music video suggests to me that they hang out in packs.  Where are they?  Are they actually in the clubs with men who are not only fully clothed, but wearing sunglasses and either cooly dismissive of the hard-to-miss hot babe or stupid grinny while the hot babe shakes this and seductively eyes that?


I gather boys/men watching enjoy the show.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take away from it.  Yesterday, I practically felt like I’d been assaulted by Nicki Minaj’s breasts as she leaned into the camera and squeezed.

How do we make it stop?  Being sexy, feeling sexy, acting sexy are not bad things.  But it’s like a race to the bottom (no pun intended) in music videos.  The scenarios get more and more ridiculous and the songs are nothing more than vessels by which to carry this crap.

In my early teens, Duran Duran came out with Girls On Film and the video was all the talk.  Of course there was the edited version that we saw on MTV or MuchMusic here in Canada, and an unedited one that wasn’t so easy for anyone to get their hands on.  This was way before widespread internet.

In the edited version, pretty much the only one we were privy to, there were some gratuitous shots of chests and butts, but at least the women were ultimately in power positions.  One takes out a sumo wrestler, the other gets the better of a male a lifeguard, one other rides on a man dressed as a horse, and another massages a man to either exhaustion or death.  And, the men are pretty much as naked as the women.  Sure, ridiculous scenarios, a little racy (for early 80’s), but there was a playful quality and it did not depict girls hanging around wiggling, giving it all they’ve got, as a man has way better things to do than pay anything other than fleeting attention, if any at all.  Each vignette was a story damn it!

In a 2013 music video version I imagine the chorus alone, “girls on film”, would be an excuse to have a whole pack of women (because it would seem that’s how we travel – unless you’re Nicki Minaj) being filmed gyrating in skimpy, skimpier and skimpiest outfits for no other reason but to be gyrating in super skimpy outfits.  I bet they wouldn’t be cast to look strong or in charge so much as fill the role as silly, meek and disposable props.

That’s my beef.  Women, in most music videos you look silly, meek and disposable.  It bugs me.  We’re more than tits and ass so let’s be more than tits and ass!  Lead the way, Nicki.


26 thoughts on “Are We Just The Sum Of Our Parts?

  1. As they say, Chivalry isn’t dead, it just followed wherever being lady-like went. Men love to see T&A and women are sooo eager to please and be the object of their attention, and they’ll be damned if another woman has on a more jaw dropping (read: barely there) outfit than they do..

    • Love your first sentence, Tiffany. The idea you mention of women being portrayed as so eager to please is extremely disturbing in these videos. It goes without saying that the fact that they are paid and willing to act eager (in large groups and not a brain among them) both superficially and sexually does nothing for young girls and dick all for young women. It is in fact sending the message that we should be nothing other than eager to please. Puke.

  2. I hear ya and am with you on Duran Duran. I am an 80’s baby myself. I think there is a clear distinction between sexy and trashy…one exhibits sensuality with class and one just shoves sensuality to our faces without any class. Not many women understand this nor do they know how to differentiate between the two. That is the tragic part, I suppose.

    • Shirley,
      It is tragic. I think you’re spot on with the inability to differentiate and as a society I think we’re all guilty to some degree of encouraging our young women in this direction. As I said, it’s a race to the bottom and we’re well on our way.

  3. Eh, I don’t watch MTV, BET, VH1, or any other channels that show that stupid shit. Aside from the fact that the women barely have any clothes on, the “music” is horrible and pointless. Tasteless and other adjectives that fail me right now. Our society is becoming morally banktrupt.

  4. Hit the spot here, I (almost) laugh when I see them as they are all the same. Dare I say ‘black’ (but not exclusively) rapper streotypes looking like they have so much scantily clad booty for the taking that they can afford to be blase about the whole thing. Its a big male ego thing for the singer and takes female equality back to the dark ages.

  5. To make this change, to make it stop, will take the entire sum of our population, for every single woman in existence to stand up and say, together, that we will not accept this as our image, and not just say it, but stop behaving this way. As long as women are willing to be paid to dry hump a man on film, men will pay the woman to shake her tits and ass for the camera.

      • I don’t know why they continue to promote it. If they stopped the supply, eventually the demand would wane as well, or at least one can hope it would.

    • The question is, do they embrace it because they think it’s a great thing, or do they embrace it because they’re trained to believe that tits and ass are their key characteristics? They flaunt it, they get paid. Money is a huge influence and is exchanged for things we consider to have value. Who’s really driving the bus?

      • I always felt that the women civilized the men by what they accepted, based on my observations as an inner city varsity basketball coach.

        Maybe they don’t understand the power they have. Or maybe this is just the easiest path, like water running the course of least resistance.

  6. This kind of exaggerated sexuality always reminded me of the tiny lizard with the big flap of skin that comes out when it is afraid it does not have enough real substance in the fight. Overextended visuals to compensate for an inner lack. My preference is competence and confidence overblown show. I think for whatever reasons, people of little substance and or self worth are easily fooled to follow this glittery visual “junk” food because they don’t have enough depth to differentiate between a fix that will position you to want ever more and real sources of contentment and satisfaction.

  7. Ah yes… you know things have gone amiss when you find your 15 year old daughter trying to teach your 7 year old son how to twerk thanks to videos (luckily it was just a joke to screw with mommy’s head which it did big time)….I’m feeling you here on this post, girl. Put your clothes on, stand up, and be amazing, ladies!! And men… big head over little head, please.

    • a) I’m freaking thrilled that I have no idea what “twerk” is
      b) I think you have to actually describe to some men which is their big head and which is their little head
      c) ladies, we are amazing! We just have to convince the masses

  8. Cougars, as a man, I find it irritating. What does that say about me? I’m hetero, but it grinds me. I don’t care about it. I can hear the Ermagerd commentary in my head whenever I see shit like that. And since you asked, it’s in Vegas. Have fun!

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