Up Yours: The Unleashing of a Beleaguered Disney Princess

The week from hell is just about over and I’ve had it.

Enough with crazy lady partners of ex-husbands.

Enough with ineffective, 25 year-old police officers that just can’t understand cougar distress due to crazy, harassing lady partners of ex-husbands (even the allure of handcuffs can’t make up for the cops’ ignorance due to lack of real world experience).

Enough with court process and procedures designed to eventually lead decent folk crawling on their hands and bloody knees, begging to pay expensive lawyers who know what paperwork to file and when.  I can do that now after 5+ years, but I don’t make $300/hr doing it.  In fact I lose money every minute I have to sit with my stupid ass number ticket and wait to be called to a wicket, only to be shit on by the civil servant who can’t believe that I got the process wrong and sends me off to purgatory until I’ve dotted my i’s and crossed my t’s.  If English isn’t your first language, good fucking luck.

Enough of this shit.  The kids and I are going to Florida!!  Yep, I had to pay with part of my soul and a good bit of my mental health, but the ex, who didn’t even bother to show up, can’t stop us now.

How badly do I want to mail him a souvenir from Disney World, maybe a Pinocchio puppet so he can shove that long, wooden lying nose right up his ass?

He’d also be able to relate (if he was capable of introspection) to the fact that poor Pinocchio lives his life on strings controlled by the puppet master, who in this case is his crazy lady friend, a moron who speaks and acts for both of them.  Um, nice picking there, dick-wad.  You know she’s slowly burying you and any hope of having a relationship with your kids.  What’s that?  You don’t give a shit?  Right. You’re a narcissist.  Fabulous.

Tragically, unlike Pinocchio, the ex doesn’t seem to ever want to become a real boy/man, but he’s managed the full transformation into an ass quite well.

So, let the good times roll.  Flights are booked, plans are made, excitement is unleashed and it’s now feeling worth every miserable minute I have had to spend battling those idiots.

Space Mountain, I can’t wait to escape into your dark, thrilling heart and scream at the top of my lungs with my girls, arms up!

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10 thoughts on “Up Yours: The Unleashing of a Beleaguered Disney Princess

  1. Have so much fun you forget to think about that can of whoop ass you’d like to spray in a certain direction. You are witty and I think maybe I’ve just been inspired to write a crazy post someday, but probably would have to put it private. Yes, I’m lame. Smiling for your vacation!

  2. I would tell you to hold your head high on this trip to Disney. It’s your getaway! However, on my trips down that tunnel of Space Mountain, I always recited this mantra: Keep low … keep low … keep low. Never smacked my head on a rail yet.

  3. Sounds just like my ex and his second ex-wife!! Thank god he finally ditched that bitch and her controlling ways, and has an amazing relationship with his son! Hope he soon gets his head out of his ass, and that he steps up and becomes a better dad, and co-parent!! Have a good time!

    • Thanks, FBG. The trouble is if he ever manages to get his head out of his ass, then he has to get to work on hers! I don’t think it will happen in this lifetime. Regardless, good times will be had in Florida.

  4. CONGRATS!!!! This is so awesome!!!! A trip with your kids…relish it!! It’s so fun to do that all my your mom self. Seriously. Fuck him…don’t buy him a goddamned thing but your JOY as revenge. HAVE FUN AND SCREAM YOUR COUGAR GUTS OUT GIRL!!!

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