The week from hell is just about over and I’ve had it.
Enough with crazy lady partners of ex-husbands.
Enough with ineffective, 25 year-old police officers that just can’t understand cougar distress due to crazy, harassing lady partners of ex-husbands (even the allure of handcuffs can’t make up for the cops’ ignorance due to lack of real world experience).
Enough with court process and procedures designed to eventually lead decent folk crawling on their hands and bloody knees, begging to pay expensive lawyers who know what paperwork to file and when. I can do that now after 5+ years, but I don’t make $300/hr doing it. In fact I lose money every minute I have to sit with my stupid ass number ticket and wait to be called to a wicket, only to be shit on by the civil servant who can’t believe that I got the process wrong and sends me off to purgatory until I’ve dotted my i’s and crossed my t’s. If English isn’t your first language, good fucking luck.
Enough of this shit. The kids and I are going to Florida!! Yep, I had to pay with part of my soul and a good bit of my mental health, but the ex, who didn’t even bother to show up, can’t stop us now.
How badly do I want to mail him a souvenir from Disney World, maybe a Pinocchio puppet so he can shove that long, wooden lying nose right up his ass?
He’d also be able to relate (if he was capable of introspection) to the fact that poor Pinocchio lives his life on strings controlled by the puppet master, who in this case is his crazy lady friend, a moron who speaks and acts for both of them. Um, nice picking there, dick-wad. You know she’s slowly burying you and any hope of having a relationship with your kids. What’s that? You don’t give a shit? Right. You’re a narcissist. Fabulous.
Tragically, unlike Pinocchio, the ex doesn’t seem to ever want to become a real boy/man, but he’s managed the full transformation into an ass quite well.
So, let the good times roll. Flights are booked, plans are made, excitement is unleashed and it’s now feeling worth every miserable minute I have had to spend battling those idiots.
Space Mountain, I can’t wait to escape into your dark, thrilling heart and scream at the top of my lungs with my girls, arms up!