The Love Shack

The unthinkable has happened.  This cougar has taken in a den-mate.  Yep, The Man has moved in.

Naturally, I’ve had various thoughts on this.  Okay, first off he’s going to majorly cramp my cougarness.  I can’t be seen walking around with the same guy all the time.  Who the hell is going to attempt to pick me up a the bar on Friday night when they figure out that I’m in all tight with someone? There goes my game.  Hello Friday night football.  Shit.

I would have thought the above to be my major concern with this cohabitation weirdness.  I was wrong.  My main concern is what The Man showed up with on moving day.  Let me give you the full picture if you have, oh, 10 seconds:

-one couch

-one chair


You guessed it – he’s settled right in

-one stereo with 4, yes 4 speakers

-a guitar

-a gigantic old-school TV (no, not a beautiful 52″ flat screen)

-a creamer


He presented this to me with the glee of a kid on Christmas morning

-a bike

-a lava lamp

-roughly 12 boxes of miscellaneous stuff

-two cans of tuna, one can of salmon, one can of cannellini beans


In my pre-co-habitating fabulous life, the Kahlua would have been front and centre. Now?

-one pack of open whole-wheat pasta

-a frying pan


Anyone else working up to an orgasm?

So, it’s been a week and I’m kind of past the point of bolting, and I think I’m almost over the “what the hell?”, and I’m nearly beyond the “um, what exactly am I getting out of this?”

I must admit getting cream that much more smoothly into my coffee in the morning has added value to my life.  Other than that, I’m not sure quite what I’ve signed up for.  I guess I’ve willingly let the man-child in and I have to keep on walking proud in my heels and push-up bra.  I need to accept his lack of much of anything really assets and love the person, right?

To that end, I think I’ll whip us up a romantic meal of tuna sandwiches tonight with a side of pasta, get myself all made up, turn on a ball game and try not to cry into my cannellini bean loaf dessert.


10 thoughts on “The Love Shack

  1. Look on the bright side, when his man molt sprinkles on your sink everyday and you have to deal with it lest your tooth brush sprouts extra bristles, you can save ’em all up and eventually weave a sweet sweater. Tuna sammaches and a sweater! Now that’s livin!

  2. Oh honey, I got one of those too! Friday night football … I never heard of it in my life, except a real game at the high school. The dessert, well you can have that one. You are soooo funny. 🙂

  3. Better add a side of mints with that romantic meal you’re having.
    Sounds like this life you’re about to live could turn into an interesting book. You could call it ‘Playa Cougar Went and Shacked Up.’

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