Hey Beergut!! and other beefs about the disaster that is Rob Ford

animalnewyork.com

Here’s the thing about Rob Ford.  He’s an ass.  I don’t say that lightly.  What started as unbelievable, morphed into bizarre, slid into unconscionable, dove into incredulous and currently sits in asshole-ville.

cbc.ca

It was one thing to watch this guy slowly being unveiled, kicking and screaming like a child in full tantrum, pointing fingers, becoming incensed at allegations (the majority of which have turned out to be true), and apologizing with the sincerity of a bullfrog who has just swallowed a horsefly.  Now we have to watch and listen as this lying man-child traverses North America bragging about his unsubstantiated claims of saving “our great city” a billion dollars on his watch – probably a watch he won in an illegal gambling den under a cloud of crack smoke and naked women.

huffingtonpost.ca

Essentially this man is using his dirty, tarnished image as a means of gaining and maintaining attention and notoriety, a platform from which he then swings his bully dick and campaigns for re-election.  It won’t surprise me in the least when more supposedly secretly filmed “episodes” of Rob Ford acting insane surface as the campaign heats up.  Fodder anyone?

As a Torontonian I can say that what this man is doing is so far removed from genuine campaigning that it galls me every time he speaks the words “Ford nation” (puke, puke, puke) or his line that voters will decide in October if they want him back as mayor.  Hey asshole, I don’t even want you as a citizen.  I already know we’re going to be stuck with you as some white trash reality show TV personality when you finally get kicked to the curb.  Or maybe you and O.J. Simpson could pair up on a show and call it “Bullshit Nation and Gloves.”

(photo credits: the star.ca; foxnews.com)

I wish this guy and his pasty brother, Doug, would just bow out and go away.  However, I know it’s not going to happen, even when our chief of police is found bound and dead in an empty rib truck.  Rob Ford, licking his barbecue-sauce-drenched fingers, will simply provoke the masses and tell us like the idiots he thinks we are that he has nothing to hide, and that he’s the mayor goddammit, just a regular guy, and we have nothing to say about it until October 27th.  So there, suckers!  Talk about abusing democracy.  Dick.